Not All Flowers Smell Nice part 2

it was during winter of my final year in UK when I first had the chance to go skiing in the colossal, beautiful mountain in Edinburgh with some of my college friends. We were so eager, and feeling so adventurous. That weekend was spent doing all those shopping extra-thick trousers, gloves, jacket and some expensive skiing gear. There were me, Hani, Lin, Zed, and Han. We were in the same course in the university and so close to each other. The journey to the mountain is about 6 hours drive. But having 2 guys in the trip made everything easier for us since we got to observe all the alluring scenery of the countryside of Scotland. From afar, we can already see the big mountain with its top covered by the beautiful white snow. If I can freeze that scene in some kind of big poster and put it in my bed, I would. But I wasn’t really rich at that time and have no expensive DSLR with me. only an old-fashioned small Canon camera which definitely produce a vibrant image that worth of nothing that I was ashamed to bring it out myself. Well, I do have my parent to succumb for extra money to buy that DSLR, telling them that all my friends have got one and I ought to possess one for myself. But as an independent girl I was, I thought of 1000 other things that I can buy with that money compared to the DSLR. Plus, Han got this massive DSLR with very expensive lens taking picture of all of us, so I shouldn’t be worried of not getting any nice picture during the trip. But now, since Han is driving, no one is taking the mountain picture.

The 6 hour journey was not really that easy as what we thought. Eventhough its UK, a very developed country with developed world, still, we got lost several times in the road. Han kept missing the junction off the highway so we end up depending again on the GPS for ‘recalculation of the route’. Han was just so absorbed with the beautiful scenery as well. he kept cursing that it wasn’t he whos supposed to be driving but Zed. But they have got their own vote who need to drive at specific time. it wasn’t Han’s best day. Since he kept missing the junction, so he got all extra curse and lashes of harsh words from angry passenger for extra time we need to spend in the car for his lack of focus. We started our journey at 8 in the morning, but reach at the top of mountain at around 4 in the evening since having 3 ladies, we kept stopping at the river alongside the road every 30 minutes just to snap some pictures.

It was a good weather on the next day, eventhough its cold to death. after paying for the entrance fee to the skiing park, we made our way to an intermediate slope. This was not our first time skiing, but it’s the first time we ski in Scotland. My friends and I didn’t spent any second wasting on the flat snow, we rushed up to the mountain by the cable car. There are no words to describe how amazing everything were from the top view of the mountain. There are many more mountain around that, everything is just so white and natural. I took the opportunity to scream out loud at the valley of mountain and everyone just laugh seeing me screaming. So we started our adventure. I cannot deny that I was a bit scared at the beginning, seeing that sloppy slope since I haven’t been skiing for about 6 month due to lots of work in university. Zed and Han went first. They were screaming like crazy when descending the slope. Oh what I shame. Hani and Lin went off and that left me alone on the slope. I was muttering lots of prayer so that Allah will forgive me if I died today, that He will look for my family and also put me in heaven. My hand felt so cold. I close my eyes and count 1, 2, 3. I can feel my scarf flying at my back relentlessly, the cold wind that sweep over my face. I was having a good time when slipping down the slope until suddenly I crashed at the side of the slope and end up rolling myself over and over for I don’t know how long. I felt a stab pain on my back and scream as hard as you can. I was lying there at the side for about 15 minutes. I was hoping someone would see im here in a agonized pain. I was so afraid to move my body since I watched so many action movies that is the last thing I should do to avoid any further injury or broken ribs or anything. I tried to feel my leg but to no avail. I tried to scream help. But I was such early in the morning. There wasn’t lots of people at that time. we were the one so eager to get on to ski so early. I blame Han for suggesting that. Suddenly, to my relief someone heard me and came to my rescue. He was wearing a blue snow cap, a thick scarf to cover part of his face, white snow jacket and green ski pants.

‘are you okay miss?’

‘no im not, obviously. i don’t know, I slip off for about 200m, so I don’t know whether im okay or not. Could you check for me?’

‘don’t worry you are in a good hand, im a doctor, so don’t panic!’

I breathe a sign of relief. Oh thank god, a doctor came to my rescue! He scanned my leg from below to upper thigh, and ask whether I feel pain anywhere. He checked my pulse, breathing rate, my arm and my back for any sign or broken bone or anything. I was flushing when some random guy do that on my body. But duh, its emergency situation, what do you expect him to do?

‘the good news is, you didn’t break anything. But your back might have slight distortion. So I wont suggest you to move your body. Do you mind if I go down for a while to find some help?’

‘oh thankgoodness. Thank you so much. Yes, please find some help fast! Thank you doctor!’

as he was heading off out from my sight, I screamed to him, ‘doctor! What is your name?’

I can see he was smiling at that time. he replied, ‘Adam’. I wonder if he was actually blushing or its just the coldness of the weather that made his face turn red.

That was the first time I lay my eyes on him, a savior of my life, a hero that I respect so much. Starting from that day, our relationship started to blossom. He was at first foundation year in Edinburgh hospital. I was in my final year architectural course in Nottingham. Eventhough he was an extremely busy person at that time, being a foundation year doctor who need to work from 8.30 am to 8.30 pm at night, he made the effort to call me during weekend, asking about how I was doing and my own life. Sometimes he told me story about his patients, the hospital and how many sick people and depressing it was. Usually I enjoy to hear all those stories. When someone is sick, that is the moment when they started to reflect back what have they done with their life, if any of it is worth living, how they can easily neglect the one who they loved most. Its just, maybe when person is sick, they got more time lying on the bed, figuring out what had happened to them back 20 years ago and waiting for death to come greet them. It is amazing how disease and not being normal itself can transform people in a matter of second from a bad person to really good man. I guess it’s the role of the pain itself the play a big role in everything.

When people have with them pain that they cannot bear, they started to beg everyone, even God, to help relief the pain and in turn, they would be willing to give anything for that. its about not being similar to other people, normal, running, screaming, laughing everyday with happiness. its about losing the normality that define what we are everyday. Pain is such a powerful weapon. Adam told me a story about a guy with a terminal cancer where the doctor cannot do anything to help him anymore since it was the last stage cancer. Yet, he still didn’t die after one month but screaming in pain now and then. The doctor has already maximized the amount of morphine they can put in the body. Add a little more would kill his body instantly, so they stop at that amount, but the pain is still there. So the man was left in agony for 24 hours, screaming in pain, crying, shrieking, and sobbing at night for about one month before he died. His body was full of lump of tumor growing around his vein. Its such a painful death. I told Adam to stop telling me that kind of agonizing story. At other time, he told me about an old woman who was in her deathbed but still no one came to visit her and how pity she look like at that time. then he sat beside her to accompany her last breathe in this world. Death is just too near in the hospital. I told him to be careful not to kill any patient and get in trouble. That was the time when he asked me, ‘would you be on my side when I am in my death bed?’

Adam has to wait for about 8 month until I finally graduate from my Architecture school in Nottingham. Our wedding was so extravagant. Adam is not from that super rich business family as what you think. But he is the only son in his family, so they want it to be very special and memorable. Plus Adam is under scholarship from government since he finished his high school until last year. He is a bright student, so he got sponsored to do A level and medicine in UK when he was 18. Those prizes he got for his paper and poster on virus and bacteria from the Immunology and Infection Research Institution really thicken up his bank. The institution is very rich since they keep coming to our university, pursuing the medical student in my university to join their programme during winter. I didn’t even know about them until Adam told me lots of story about how desperate they are to find a treatment for the vigilance of the virus that can rip off your arm in a matter of day.

Our wedding pictures spread widely on the facebook. Lots of people were jealous of me, because I am not really a popular girl in school, but I married someone so prominent. I have never been a popular girl. I am what they said, an invisible girl, where no one would notice my present in a croud. But Adam is different. He is a very bright guy who knows everything about sports especially skiing, always at the top list in volunteer programme list and at the same time excellent in his study as well. People know him for his excellent grade since high school, and because he was the president for Summer Volunteer Programme activity at around the world such as Kenya, Tanzania or Africa. Eventhough I didn’t tell this to lots of people, but I do feel proud that I get to marry him. Somehow, his personality does change me into new person. I do not longer think I am ugly. He never fails to tell me everyday that I am the most beautiful person he ever met. At first, I know he was just being sweet as what normal guy would do to flirt with girl. But eventually, I fall to it. Suddenly, my facebook friends skyrocketed to about one thousand, when before this it was only about 500. I felt like I was in the center of everything.

During the wedding day, Adam bought a dress from London and shipped it to Malaysia. It was an embroidered pink with blue floral long dress with lots of laces at its edge. i refused to wear it and told Adam he was being so ridiculous. That dress is not for me and did not fit my personality at all. I prefer a typical dress with nothing fancy at all. But he, being an Adam, the one who can turn word into power, as usual managed to persuade me into wearing that. I told him, just for 2 hours and then I will change to other less fancy dress. He hired a wedding planner, who apparently used to be his high school friends to make sure that our wedding day is one of the best in the year, and he didn’t fail us at all. Everything is just a dream comes true. Wait, I never have a dream of wedding day like this. Nothing similar to this. My wedding day that I dreamt before this is just at my house, and some of family and friends. Nothing more or less. But this is so enormous size of people flooding the wedding hall making my face blushing red all the time to be the center of attraction for everyone. There are also some of Adam friends from his medical school in London, his colleague from Edinburgh hospital, and some of his coworkers in Immunology and Infection Research Institution. I wonder how come they are so rich to fly here just to attend Adam’s wedding. He said, they were having summer holiday anyway. I wonder how many fractions of people; in that crowd, are actually my real friends. Maybe all of them are Adam’s friends anyway.

2 weeks after the wedding, we were still flooded by endless congratulation post on our facebook wall, people telling how jealous they were with me, how lucky I am, that our wedding was the best wedding of the year, that I was the most prettiest girl they ever seen and all those endless compliments and prayers so we will be a happy couple married ever after and bless with lots of beautiful children. Silently, I hope Allah will hear their prayer, that we will be blessed with children to accompany us in this life. And that is the only thing I am still not getting at this point.